Is being "nice" over-rated? End the tyrannical reign of "The Nice" in customer service!

Have we lost sight of true customer service in the vise-grip of "niceness"?

I think it's very fair to say that one of the values that drives much of customer service in the USA is "niceness". While I don't disagree that being surly is unlikely to get you repeat customers, the idea of "being nice" for its own sake has always made me itchy. 

My natural personality, while not Cruella DeVille, is more cerebral, intense, and reserved. Combined with my height (5'10") and my piercing stare, I tend to get feedback like "you seem harsh" or in a memorable conversation "You're the Talented Tyrant [type of person]". Oof. 

I've given this a lot of thought, because throughout my career, I've been "the sweetie" and "the headmistress" both. 

When I worked in collections, my coworkers (who included one guy who was arrested at work for breaking his probation!) called me "The Nun" and were visibly shaken one day when I imitated a debtor swearing. I didn't even do the swearing myself! 

When I worked in the Philippines, I was "The Irate Customer" and my long suffering account manager boss had to tell me twice in one week to let it go (the issue was speaking English only on the production floor, a particular bugaboo of mine) and wind down, I was scaring people. 

So which is it? Am I a "nice person" or am I a jerk? Neither. I'm human, and so are your customers and your staff. 

Again and again, I have read comments saying "My rep was very NICE but I couldn't understand her/ she had no idea what she was doing/ she didn't fix my problem" or "My rep was very sweet, but he transferred me several times to the wrong departments". Yes, being POLITE is a must, but we have seen customers value competence, solutions, and confidence just as highly as they value a syrupy tone and dozens of gushing apologies. 

It is one of my core beliefs that there is room in your team for all types of people, and trying to cram everyone into a mold of "niceness" is only going to backfire. In my experience, most people who get hired at a business level are pretty "nice" and presentable. 

It's seldom that you get a true jerk who made it past the interview process. What you do get is backstabbing, passive aggressive, victims, and a lot of high school drama-- a team who uses buzzwords like "misunderstanding" to cut each other to ribbons, and create cliques and a pecking order, all under the pink umbrella of niceness. Ugh. 

Also, on your production floor, when you ask your team to "whitewash" their personality (especially those that are a bit flat, technical, reserved, or quiet), you get a bland, cardboard-y product. 

Customers want a genuinely pleasant interaction, and in my opinion and experience, that can take many forms besides "It-is-our-pleasure-to-provide-you-exceptional-customer-service-today" (something that not only does no one believe, it actually makes people angry with its empty promises). 

So how do you get the customer service you want out of people who aren't naturally bubbly, perky, upbeat, and "nice"? 

First, find their strengths. Then work with those to find ways you can raise the profile and reputation of your quiet or intense types and avoid the 'so and so is a B on wheels' thing. 

---Are they a technical whiz? Perhaps they can contribute to the group with a weekly or monthly tech newsletter or Twitter feed. Just a few sentences on the latest gadgets or the office tools might work. 

---Are they a bit of a loner or shy? Maybe they can be encouraged to join the conversation on the SharePoint or other "group media" tools that your office uses. With the extra buffer zone between them and others, their true personality may shine (let's just hope it's socially acceptable!) 

Secondly, try to create an atmosphere in which gossip, backstabbing, and petty drama are discouraged. 

When Geri comes to you to whisper that Bettina is "really quiet" and "not doing so great on sales", firmly tell her to keep her eyes on her own paper. You'll never get rid of all cattiness, that's how any group works, but you can set a tone that teamwork AND the quality of someone's work are valued equally, and people who are *only* perky and fizzy at 8 am without the work to back it up won't last long at your office. 

Lastly, mix it up. Be real. Being "nice" is not as good as being kind, tactful, supportive, and genuine. 

Yes, there are mandated scripts that some conehead in the home office thought sounded terrific, but outside of those, try to inject some life into your interactions with your REAL personality. 

Just ask yourself: "Would I say this to a friend, in this way, with this tone and these words?" If not, remove half the syrup, ditch the scripts, and use your own good hearted-ness to guide the way. You don't have to be "nice" to give wonderful customer service.